• Cate Gongos


“The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind.

It really has nothing to do with the other person.”

- Louise Hay

This quote by Louise Hay, caught me by surprise. What did she mean – forgiveness really has nothing to do with the other person? I thought forgiveness had everything to do with the other person. They are to blame and responsible for what they said or did to me. I deserve an apology and, until then, I will not forgive them!

But what if Louise Hay is right. What would that level of forgiveness look like?

Spiritual teachers tell us forgiveness is a mystical act, not a rational one. As seekers, we know forgiveness is a pillar on our spiritual journey and one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and others. We are curious to know more about this deeper level of forgiveness.

Ego Level

We ask for forgiveness from others when we are genuinely sorry for our words or actions. We feel the need to make amends when we have acted with anger or vengeance toward others or ourselves because we have deep feelings of remorse, guilt, or humiliation.

Receiving forgiveness from others or learning to forgive ourselves, offers us a fresh start and permission to move forward. It aligns our mind, body and spirit and restores our balance and well-being.

There is a problem with this level of forgiveness. Our conditioned mind and fearful ego are often incapable of lasting forgiveness. We want to hold the other person responsible for why the events in our life turned out the way they did, or why we were treated so unfairly. Often, we continue to victimize or sabotage ourselves even when we know it’s harming our body, mind, and spirit. Our hurt, anger, blame, and resentments keep us stuck in old patterns and beliefs that leave us unable to forget, forgive and heal.

Mystical Level

If forgiveness is a mystical act, then it must be a healing based in love that happens at the level of our heart and soul. To explore this level of forgiveness, we must get out of our mind and drop our awareness within, into our interior world.

The mystical artwork on the Forgiveness card draws us into a sacred space within our heart center. From this place we can explore forgiveness from our heart, not our head.

On this card we see ourselves walking on the path of forgiveness that we all know so well. Etched in the stones on this path are our past hurts, anger, regrets, blame, and resentments. They are still alive and can be triggered at any time because they were never completely resolved or healed at the level of our heart and soul.

At the end of our path is an ancient green door. This is the door of forgiveness and healing that resides in our heart center. As we walk towards this door, we are struck by the beautiful tulips that embody our purity, honor, and holiness. There is also a white feather on the path that offers us love, hope and peace.

The door of forgiveness is very heavy. To open it even a crack, we need more support, love, and courage. This level of support is found when we open our heart and begin to work with a power that is greater than us. The Divine is our power partner symbolized by the goddess on the door.

When we work with the Divine, the door of forgiveness opens to reveal and illuminate the goodness in ourselves and the other person. This is the beginning of true forgiveness and healing. When we have compassion for ourselves and see the goodness in the other person, our mind begins to open and there is a willingness to perceive new hope and possibilities.

We allow the Divine to dissolve past resentments, anger, regret, and other negative energies trapped in our mind. We choose to detach and let go of the outcome of the situation. We surrender and trust the Divine will resolve, balance, and heal the relationship with others or ourselves. Forgiveness takes faith, courage, love, and patience. It requires a willingness to release all the toxic energy, situations, and people we have been holding on to, sometimes for years.

Grace is the mystical substance of Divine that flows to the source of the issue or situation and dissolves unresolved resentment, hurt, and anger. It allows us to witness but not judge the role we played in the situation and how we could have reacted differently. Grace works silently, shifting us and the other person from a place of fear to a place of love. We cannot control others, but we can choose how we react or respond to what others do, say, or create.

Forgiveness is governed by divine timing and may not be a quick fix, but in its own way and time we will find complete resolution, inner freedom and happiness.

Only our soul knows the cosmic footprint of how and when the forgiveness for our self or others will unfold.

Louise Hay was right – forgiveness takes place in our own mind and really has nothing to do with the other person.

Forgiveness is the key to happiness


Cate is the author of the Soul Seeker’s Journey oracle cards, which will be available later this year. You can view and explore many of these cards on my Face Book page, Cate’s Corner (blog), or Instagram.Cate’s Corner features card readings to offer you guidance and inspiration with whatever is going on in your life right now. I encourage you to check out my blog, subscribe (at no cost), and post a comment. You don’t want to miss a card or a reading that may be life changing!​I am a Feminine Power transformational coach and facilitator. Other certifications and passions include – Card Reader, Archetype Consultant, Reiki Master/Teacher, and Artist. Prior to following my talents and vocation, I was a secondary school teacher and adult educator for 25 years in Alberta, including 16 years as the Vice President of Northern Lakes College.​I call home the town of Slave Lake, Alberta.

Over the years I have had the opportunity to volunteer and provide leadership for many non-profit community projects including : Wellness Fairs, Legion Paint Nights, and Home & Garden Tours. I was also active in the emergency housing and recovery efforts after wildfires devastated a third of our town in 2011.​ I spearheaded Art with a Heart, a three-year initiative that collected original art donations from across Canada to gift to residents who had lost their homes. For my contributions in the Slave Lake recovery efforts and the Art with a Heart project, I was awarded Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Diamond Jubilee Medal of Honour, and other awards.​I am thrilled to bring my gifts, talents and my Soul Seeker’s Journey cards into the world. I will also be creating unique offers and workshops for women who are looking to self-actualize, create the life they want, and become the person they know they can be.


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